I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
