the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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