Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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