yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
