Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
