Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
dude. I can hear the air.
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