You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
you made out with another girl for some wings
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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