Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
