No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
