just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
