stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Randomize
