Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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