im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I need water and some morals
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
