i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
