sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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