it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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