my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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