I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
