Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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