Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
