Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
