Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
