i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
