I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
