you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm sobbing to NWA
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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