Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
