Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
