I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
