Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize