i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
