Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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