Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
youre lurking in front of me
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
