two words: eviction party
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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