So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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