I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
