My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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