We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
