IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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