Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
