thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
