You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
