If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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