I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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