So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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