So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
