the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
