I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
do herpes really smell.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
