i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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