You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
