sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
