He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
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