Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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