Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
We are all done wearing pants today
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
