He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
