haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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