you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
