so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
