Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Also, beer. Big fan.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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