the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
