nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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