Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
