I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize