I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize