Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
