I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
