what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
