I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
