Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
